The way we address someone is an interesting cultural issue. Think about it, how do you address people? What if they are older than you? What if they have a title like doctor or pastor, what if they are a close family member.
Even in our own society we address people in many different fashions, do the kids call the teacher Mr. or Mrs. or just their name. I have found that amongst our friends and relatives there is a variety of acceptable manners in which people address each other. Some have their kids call adults in general Mr. and Mrs. some just go by first name alone both are acceptable ways to address someone.
In Singapore the society is very hierarchical and much more formal, someone ten years or so younger would never call the person who is older than they by their first name. You would call them Mr. or Mrs. if the person is of Chinese descent then the first syllable of their name is actually their last name like, Lee Mei Young, Lee is the last name not the first name so you could address them as Mr. or Mrs. Lee not Mr. or Mrs. Young.
In Singapore when you are addressing a man who is older than you weather you are a child or an adult you would call the man "uncle" and if it is a woman you would call her "auntie". The example used in our cultural training class is... the boys are taking a cab somewhere, they would say to the cab driver "excuse me uncle I need to go to...." if you are giving up your seat on the MRT for an older woman, you would say "here auntie take this seat"
In our family Aunt and Uncle are terms of endearment. We do not just call some one aunt or uncle unless they are related to us and we are referring to them or addressing them, it is like Grandma and Grandpa, not just anyone gets those titles in front of their names. It means something to say aunt and uncle something much deeper much more intimate than just addressing a stranger.
When we are in Singapore we will be calling older men "uncle" and older women "auntie". This will be very strange for us at first but I trust we will get used to it as we certainly want to be respectful of those whose city we are living in.
When the boys told me of this I had a similar reaction. Those terms are not loosely used in my house. If you are called Aunt or Uncle it means endearment, lifelong commitment, and respect. Still, I appreciate your perspective of respecting the culture God is bringing you to live.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those parents who expects her kids to call adults by the title "Mr." or "Ms." I find the lack of formality among a lot of Americans troubling. There needs to be a certain distance and show of respect between children and adults. How many of the teacher/student molestation cases come from teachers wanting to break down such barriers and have the kids treat them like "buddies?" And the lack of titles has some children treating adults as equals when they are clearly not socially equal.
ReplyDeleteI think this will be a great learning experience for your boys. Although they already treat adults with great respect, it will be an eye-opener for them to see the rest of the young people around them do the same.